Before my daughter Annie left for college at UC Santa Barbara (UCSB), I heard a lot about the party culture. The number of students who experienced alcohol poisoning was increasing, and the reports of date rape were disturbing. Her friends assured me that she would connect with the other four students in the library and not be part of the party scene. She swore that she wouldn’t drink or do drugs because of her dad’s challenges, so I had no reason to worry. While I appreciated the insight provided by her 17-year-old friends, qne was also impressed by her solemn oath of sobriety. I couldn’t help but notice the large number of liquor stores when touring Isla Vista, the college town located next to the campus, and I understood how UCSB had earned the moniker ‘Number One Party School’ as designated by Playboy magazine. 

Before her departure, I created a list with a few key ‘suggestions’ and dubbed them The Rules for Drinking. Over the years, the list was shared with friends, and by the time she reached her 21^st birthday, the list had grown to 21 rules. It has been a few more years, and a few more rules have been added, and it isn’t a coincidence that the number matches Annie’s age.

This is advice that has survived the test of time. The Rules for Drinking are as good today as they were in 2005.  

The Rules

Don’t Drink, but if you must… keep the following in mind:


1. Before you go out, spend time putting on makeup, sharing stories, and laughing with your girlfriends (advice from Tina Barber)
2. Eat before you go out.
3. Never leave your drink unattended (original advice given to Annie on her 16^th birthday from her Aunt Terry Cox).
4. Don’t accept drinks from strangers.

5. Drink a glass of water in between each boozy beverage.

6. Don’t get drunkety drunk.

7. Nothing good ever happens after midnight, so go home (advice from the North High School class of 1973).
8. Hydration prior to drinking is important. Water, water, water! (adopted on weekend wine trip to Santa Ynez).
9. Don’t mix alcoholic beverages, ‘Grape or grain, but never the twain.’
10. Avoid the sweet beverages and stick to the basics.

11. Drinking and Driving – it is 2025 for crying out loud, why not call a LYFT?

12. Cheap Champagne gives you a headache.
13. Always toast before doing a shot.

14. Dancing on top of the bar is never a good idea.

15. Always have a corkscrew in your house (advice from Nancy Babcock).
16. Passing out cold in a dirty bar is an experience that will embarrass you for the rest of your life.

17. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

18. Get the bartender’s attention with eye contact and a smile.
Also just be nice to the bartender. They are dealing with a lot. 
19. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

20. The order is salt, tequila, lime. And if you ever want to buy me a shot, go tequila!

21. Leave a tip! Seriously. They’re working on a Friday night at 1 a.m.

22. If you think you’re slurring your words, you need a glass of water.

23. No straws or umbrellas.
24. Club soda with a twist of lime is refreshing and beautiful.

25. Semper Fi – Never leave your girlfriend behind with a stranger. Even if he is a hottie. (advice from Sara Chaffty)
26. If the bartender has a mullet, ordering a martini is probably a bad idea, keep it light. 
27. Light colored drinks give you less of a hangover than the darker beverages.

28. Always take wine to a dinner party.
29. It’s ok for girls to drink beer.
30. Recycle your bottles and cans.
31. A photo of you at a party holding a Solo cup should never be posted on social media.
32. Avoid telling your supervisor about the raging St. Patrick’s Party you are attending, because you may be calling in sick the next day.
33. It’s ok to have Kahlua and coffee on a holiday morning (even if it is just President’s Day.) 
34. Keep $40,000 in savings to cover the cost of DUI (court, insurance, attorney, etc. fees).
35. Red wine is ok to have with fish.
36. As you get older, hangovers last longer.
37. In with a team, out with a team. 
38. And most importantly…never forget that if a person drinks a fifth of whisky in less than three hours, there’s a good chance of alcohol induced coma and death.

Wow! That’ll sober anyone right up.